Friday, April 27, 2012

Trust Me....Really

So here is something that strikes me as odd.....trust.  I've heard many times throughout my life "I don't trust easily" or "It takes me a while for someone to earn my trust."  I'm sure for some people this is true when it comes to relationships, but have you ever thought about how many strangers you trust on an every day basis?

Okay, so hear me out on this one.  I was driving in the car to my in-laws last week and another of my unusual random thoughts hit me as some jackwagon whizzed by us at the speed of "seriously too bloody fast".  Yes, that guy is unsafe, and a jackwagon as I clearly stated previously, but what about that car behind me....or that one over there....or that one?  All of those folks are driving along like normal every day people.  And her I am in my car with my entire family, driving along in the mix of all of them.  Hummm.....do I trust them?

Until that instant, I really had never thought about it, but to a certain degree, we must all trust each other in order to get into our cars and drive around.  That's a lot of trust to project on a bunch of perfect strangers!  And that, of course, got me thinking, what other kinds of random acts of trust do I just toss out there on an every day basis.

Well, there are the teachers at my kiddo's school. Sure, as we've clearly established I'm an active PTA mom and I live in a bubble, but still...I don't know ALL of the teachers, but to an extent, I trust them because I send my baby there every day.  I trust they've all been trained and in case of an emergency, will protect my child as if she was their own.

The local paper must trust all of us because they still put 50 papers into that machine and believe everyone will put in money and take only one.  The kids in my neighborhood trust each other because they leave their bikes all over the place and no one every touches them.  The library trusts me to check out a book and bring it back in the same condition as when I found it (sure, they can charge a fine, but really if you won't bring back a book, what are the odds you'd pay your find).  I even trust the person taking my food order and bringing me food.

Now sure, if you're looking for a new doctor or hair stylist, odds are you'll ask around.  But think about how many of us read reviews online left by people we've never laid eyes on.  We trust that their opinions are valid and the online ratings system is now a staple in all areas of our life.

I dunno, maybe it's not as mind boggling to everyone else, but I just find it interesting to see how much trust we as a society still place on each other, considering all you hear about on the news is the bad stuff.  Maybe it's because I'm a trusting person by nature or an eternal optimist, but I'd like to trust that we're not all that bad after all.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Spinning Out of Control

As a marketer I get the need to stand out.....be different.....get your product noticed.  But let's be honest here, do the little dudes spinning signs on the side of the road really count as providing a "good marketing experience?"  Hear me out here.......

So when this trend first started it was people standing on the side of the roads holding signs.  They were fairly unobtrusive.  What would catch my eye back then was the fact that it was something out of the ordinary.  You didn't expect that little man with his sign to be there on the corner.  He was just hanging out, holding a sign advertising a sale of some kind and typically, it even had a directional arrow on it so you knew where the store was located.

From there we went to people wearing costumes and waving at passing cars while holding signs.  Okay, a little odd, but still, not utterly obnoxious.  They aren't too distracting and I can see what they are advertising (although I tend to wonder about who possibly convinced them to where the odd chicken outfit or convinced them that wearing the Statue of Liberty outfit in the dead of Summer was a good idea).

It was at that point that the Marketing Powers that Be went too far!  The next wave brought in the future - strange little skateboarding, gum chewing, iPod listening, dancing, sign-spinning dweebs!  That's right, I said dweebs!

First and foremost, I can't read the bloody sign because Prince Spins-a-lot is flipping the dang thing every which way from Sunday and I can't make out anything other than the fact that I believe there is blue and white used some place on the sign.  Add to that his super fresh dancing moves and I'd be hard pressed to find anyone who can now read the damn thing as he twirls around in a constant state of motion!

It's typically at this point that I loose all interest in whatever they sign is promoting and begin focusing on said dweeb.  Where did his parents go wrong?  At what point did they decide that encouraging the life skill of dancing with a sign was all they had to push the lad to aspiring to?  And at what point did this life-skill become cool among Generation Y?  (and clearly, if this is where the bar is set, I now understand their generation's label)

As a parent I tend to second guess myself on my wonderment and outward judgement of the little sign dweebs. I mean, aren't I always saying I just want my kids to be happy?  And if we're being honest here, the Dweeb Brigade does look happy, flipping and dancing around with their little signs.  So as I can't come up with a real answer here that I'm comfortable with, so I'll just continue to sit perplexed in my hypocritical judgement of the Spinners and will try and rationalize it as a Marketer.

But as a Marketer.....nope, nope I just can't see the point from this side either.  I mean, if I want my client's message to be seen and heard, I don't think giving a sign with lots of writing on it to a dim-witted sign flipper is really the best avenue.  If you can't read the sign, how are you, Joe Consumer, going to get the message and suddenly decide to yourself "heck yeah, I was just thinking that I needed to buy a new table and those are 75% off!"

If I'm not allowed to sit in judgement and want more for GenY, then can't I at least sit in judgement of my peers and long for the days of slick, subliminal messaging, catchy jingles and cartoon spokesmen?  You can't tell me it didn't work.  Oreos.....Oscar Mayer Bologna.....Slinky?  Go ahead, have a Coke, teach the world to sing and tell me those jingles didn't just get stuck in your head?

Coming Up Roses

What is it about this time of year that seems to bring such a feeling of hope and renewal?  I have this feeling of great expectations that seems to hit out of no where about this time every year.

Growing up I always thought it had to do with my birthday; I mean as a kid, who didn't experience a bit of euphoria whenever their birthday rolled around?  But as I've gotten older I've decided that it's something more than just that "all about me" feeling that comes from your birthday (or in my case, the annual week long festival I affectionately refer to as Becky-palooza).

I was in the car yesterday, on my way to lunch with friends, when this annual feeling came up and announced its arrival.  As is standard for me in the Spring, I was cruising along with my windows rolled down, bee-bopping along to my 80's playlist on my iPod (yes really, it's STILL my favorite playlist).  All of the sudden I was overcome with a feeling of pure bliss; a moment of true "the World is my oyster" optimism.

Now as most of you know, I'm a fairly optimistic person by nature, so feeling like I can tackle anything isn't new for me, which is why this annual sense of renewal is so fascinating to me.  I can see why every Fall you feel like you're starting something new; I mean, think about it, we were all trained for how many years to start a new school year in the Fall.  New binders, unused pencils and a fresh box of Crayons always spelled the start of something exciting and big!  But Spring is some how different as it's not tied to some childhood process or calendar marker for most people.

Every year, without really even thinking about it, I get the urge to clean the house from top to bottom and revamp my wardrobe with new, fresh feeling pieces to spice things up.  I typically change up my hair color, moving from a warmer reddish brown to something much lighter and brighter (I am a graduate of Cher school of hair, so I am well versed in the art of mixing it up and using hair as an accessory).  I suddenly drop my "go to boots", a staple of my Fall and Winter wardrobe, and instead opt for flip flops or the feeling of being just plan shoe-less (always hearing my Mother's voice in my head cautioning me about the dangers of going barefoot).

The windows in the house suddenly move to a permanent state of open and I find myself searching for any excuse possible to drive some place just so I can roll the windows down and crank up the iPod a little more.

I'm sure the brightly colored flowers and the return of green in the formerly dormant grass has something to do with it, but there's more to it than that.  I mean if that's all it was, I should be happy as a little clam come Summer as well (although in all fairness, I do live in Texas and am not a desert dwelling animal by nature, so Summer isn't exactly an excuse for me to hang around outside for great lengths of time).

Each year I find the voice of my Grandfather booming through the memories of my mind singing "Beautiful, Beautiful Texas" each time I pass a field of bluebonnets.  Around this time of year I find myself reciting "Spring has sprung, the grass has riz," without prompting from anyone else.  And about this time annually, without warning, I look down and am caught by surprised as my previously painted dark purple toenails have some how changed into shades of bright purple or pink (it's not like little toenail elves come in and do this overnight - I am the one that paints them, so why this comes as a surprise to me at some point always baffles me).

For me, Spring is a time of year like no other.  Everything feels new, fresh and possible.  Optimism abounds from every corner of my life and my inner-being becomes some how, recharged again.  It is a magical time that I am happily surprised by and welcome each year.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Help With the Little Things

As part of launching my own business, I discovered that I needed some help.  Lucky for me there was someone who loves to hang around me, who works for virtually nothing and was available immediately.  Of course I'm referring to my darling and occasionally "very three" year-old daughter, Sarah.

On my first day here she was over joyed to discover that I wouldn't be going into the office and was happy with just swinging by my home office on occasion to make sure I was still here.  There were several of these little toddler drive-bys throughout the day.  She even brought me part of her snack around 2:00 p.m.

By day two her demands became a little greater and she insisted that we eat lunch together.  Being one to not typically stop for lunch, having this break in the middle of the day turned into a double surprise for me.  Not only did I actually get to let go and relax for a bit, but I got to do it with one of my most favorite people on Earth.

By Wednesday, Sarah was in full "Sarah form."  She decided to spend the day with me, spending several hours sitting on the floor beside my desk coloring and singing to me.  She took a break at one point, climbing up on my husbands guitar case, apparently an excellent stage, and put on an entire performance.

By Thursday we began to get into a groove together.  It seems our new pattern is for me to spend the first couple of the hours of the day in my office alone, answering emails and sending out proposals.  By 7:15 the two older girls emerge from their pre-teen cocoons and I drive them to school.  By the time I return, Sarah greets me with a huge smile and we sit down for breakfast together.  After a morning of her hanging out in the playroom we take a break and eat lunch together in the park, our new favorite place....as long as we get there before the Flower Mound mid-day rush.  After lunch she heads upstairs for a nap and I return to my desk for some serious focus time for the remainder of the afternoon.

Today, day five of our new partnership, she added a new twist to the daily routine.  She's now "Mommy's Helper."  She has decided that she needed to reorganize all the books on my shelf, while singing of course, and then moved all the papers around on the floor into a new collage of some kind.  We ended the day with her helping me with my blog.  She crawled up in my lap to "help me type" (by putting her fingers on top of mine while I typed).

There are tons of risks with starting your own business, but after this week I've discovered that the rewards far surpass anything I could have ever imagined.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Something Funny Happened on the Way to Forty

For those of you that don't know me, I'm one of those warped individuals who has always felt that age is just a number.  Truly, I mean, as long as I am still having birthdays I must still be clicking along, right?

I still feel that way, but wow, the reality of being forty hit me out of the blue today.  No it wasn't anything as spectacular as bending over to pick something up and throwing out my back, suddenly realizing that my body is changing.  It was one of those "holy cow, really?" kind of moments that just struck me while sitting in the park with my daughter.

You see, I've always been a super driven person; never happy unless I had about eight things going at once and lived in a state of constant change.  I've never been good at just sitting or doing only one thing.  Heck, I have a tendency to have three or four books going in the "currently reading" hopper.  I drive my family crazy because I can't watch television without reading or surfing the web at the same time.  For crying out loud, I've never lived in the same place for more than 18 months in my entire life (I swear I'm part gypsy).  I'm telling you, I am the poster child for multi-tasking!

So imagine my surprise today when I was sitting at the park watching my daughter play and......well, that's the point, that was it!  I was just sitting there watching her!  I was perfectly happy and content with that moment.  There was no nagging urge to check my phone or start a new project.  I was sitting there with no need to control her every move or constantly worry that she might hurt herself - I just let her play and do her own thing and that was okay.  That realization got me wondering if I should immediately head for the closest emergency room because clearly I had to be having a stroke!  This type of causal behavior is so against my type-A personality.

After recovering from my initial shock, it hit me that I've been behaving in this "in the moment" manner for a while now.  I've actually watched television recently - no really, WATCHED it!  I've been to the park with the girls on multiple occasions.  Heck, I even took a vacation with my older daughter this weekend and didn't work (so unlike me).  In fact, I recently went.....wait for it.....over two weeks without nail polish on my toes AND I wore sandals in public!  (which everyone in the South knows is a totally no-no for any respectable Southern woman)

A few hours later I was walking through the grocery store, post park so I'm sure I smelled of a lovely outdoor aroma, and caught myself doing it again.  There I was, walking down the hair care aisle singing along with, and rather loudly in fact, Tom Jones' "What's New Pussycat".  I haven't behaved in that manner in public in so long!  And ever since surgery #12, let me assure you that I can no longer in fact "sing".....I now croak in time with the music.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still a driven person, but some where along the way, in between 30 and 40, some ability to live in the now and enjoy the little things crept back in.  At some point I decided that loosing a half an inch and gaining 14 pounds since high school was okay (no gasping, I still workout, but suddenly I'm okay with my new body and no longer crave my pencil-thin frame from 20 years ago....curves are cool).

I now find myself talking to and playing with other people's children....and enjoying it!  I'm cool with driving a mommy-mobile and the fact that it's never spotless.  Come to think of it, I can't recall the last time my house was up to my typical OCD standards of cleanliness.  It's been in this state of "three small girls live here" for some time now.....and I'm okay!  No one lost a limb.....no friends refused to come over and hang out......no meteors hit the Earth due to some unexplained shift in the universe.

What is it about 40 that causes some to have a mid-life crisis and others to finally slow down and start to appreciate life for what it really is about?  And at what point does the super secret switch inside of us get flipped without us knowing?  Is there a main control room somewhere with the cast of Golden Girls sitting watch deciding when it's time for each of us to flip over?

I'm really not sure how or when it happened, but man, if being forty brings this much calm and clarity, I can wait for fifty!

[END NOTE: And for those of you wondering, yes I did in fact pick up the hair color while in the grocery store today.  I said I'm calmer and am enjoying life more.....I didn't say I was cool with the graying roots just yet.]

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Red Light District

As many of you know, I live in what I like to refer to as "The Bubble".  You know what I'm talking about - a small suburb of Dallas where weekends are consumed by parents shuffling children from event to event; where neighborhood block parties are a regular event; and, where a big night for our local police department consists receiving a call about someone locking themselves out of their house.  It's your typical Normal Rockwell meets Gordon Gekko kind of neighborhood.  You know, a "bubble".

Now don't get me wrong - we live here for the same reasons I'm sure everyone else does.....it's safe, beautiful, complete with good schools, great shopping and picturesque environment in which to raise our kids.

So, now that you understand how jam-packed our streets our and how insane our traffic must be, imagine my confusion when, while sitting at the park today with my two year-old (yes bubble behavior at it's finest), I happened to notice a new set of traffic signals being installed.  Now keep in mind that this particular set is being plopped two city blocks away from one set and one city block away from another set....so it's not like anyone could even get their imported car up to a dangerous speed to even warrant another abrupt stop.

I found this particularly unnerving on several levels.  First, there hasn't ever been a wreck at this intersection in the three plus years I've lived in said "bubble" (shock that I've lived in one place over a year aside please).  Secondly, why would a neighborhood such as ours suddenly require the traffic control power of three separate sets of traffic lights within about a 3 block radius.

I think it's the "duh" answer to the second one I landed on that really irked me, if we're being honest here.  You see, the town recently tore down EVERY large, blooming tree that lined our beautiful thorough-fair and replaced it with new and improved, scrawny little saplings.  Why?  Well, because they could I guess.  Because, based on the same display on intelligence of three sets of traffic lights within a three block radius on a very suburban bubble street, they have more money than they know what to do with.

No worries, I'm not about to get all Andy Rooney on you, but seriously, this has to raise a few eyebrows in my little league loving town, doesn't it?  I mean, I can't be the only one who finds this behavior a bit odd, can I?

It just makes me wonder if we, our sleepy little "bubble" in West Dallas, have this much money to throw around and time to kill, couldn't we find something better to do with both?  I can think of a few local causes and neighborhoods who could surely benefit from our need to spend money the bubble-fashion way......"we burn it."

Monday, March 26, 2012

Crabitat for Humanity

So who would have thought that I would become a Hermit Crab lover?  Me....I'm sure the world's biggest arachnophobia, is now the proud owner of two Hermit Crabs.  Okay, well it's the kid who owns them officially but let's face it, when a ten year-old owns a pet, the parent "owns" the pet.

How could this happen?  Glad you asked!  You see, I took my daughter to Houston to visit where I grew up.  While on Mommy-Tour 2012, we made a stop at Galveston, my very favorite place to escape from the pressures of teenage life (go ahead, laugh....I'll wait).

On her first venture out into the ocean, I found myself a comfy spot on the beach and marveled at the pure joy my daughter was experiencing leaping over waves and crashing into the water.  She laughed and screamed as she performed this dance for about half an hour.  Suddenly, she jetted from the water and began stalking something on the sand.  You guessed it, her keen little eye had spotted something moving on the beach.

Now before you go on thinking I'm the coolest mom ever and I let her adopt a little dude she found lollygagging on the beach, know that he too must have spotted her and seen her coming because I can now say from experience, Hermit Crabs can move when properly motivated!  He was gone before she cleared the water.

Well being one not to disappoint, I figured why not try and fulfill what was surely her crab-destiny. So, off to the biggest tourist trap on the Galveston Coast.  We looked and studied the crab options carefully, watching for movement, learning about their personalities until settling on just the perfect specimen.  We bought a Sponge Bob painted crab (whom I'm told is a girl.....and no, I haven't checked).  We bought our tiny crabitat and headed to our hotel.  Much to my surprise, during a moment of post-purchase dismay while surfing the internet, Hermit Crab apparently like to travel in packs.  Yes, packs!  They are village people!

In the logic that only a ten year-old can employ, it was decided that we must stop at the nearest pet store immediately and purchase a friend as "If she is used to a pack, there's no way she'll make it all the way back to Dallas alone!"  And thus my traveling crabitat was born!  So my car, loaded to the brim with road trip supplies, a ten year-old, myself and two crabs snugged securely in their traveling cage, which was strategically placed allowing them the best view possible, hit the road for the long journey home.

Once we arrived, we set up a much larger crabitat and placed it on the island in the kitchen where all in the house could partake and marvel in the amazement that is the every day life of a Hermit Crab.  And I have to say, after two days of being with them, I have found myself making detours by the kitchen just to check on our new arrivals, Rusty and Willard (names in homage of Footloose no less). 

After watching them scamp about, climb on the fake plants and do what I can only imagine is something resembling playing, I believe I see now why they travel in packs, as I guess it's true, it does take a village.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Caroling We Go

As we approach "the big day", I have discovered that most stations have officially changed their station formats over to Christmas music. I've decided that trying to come up with 24-hours of solid Christmas music must be a daunting task, as some of the songs I've heard lately don't exactly "put me in the holiday mood".

So to that end, I give you my Top 7 Worst Christmas Songs (I'd go for 10, but sadly just trying to mutter my way through these seven was hard enough):

7. Dominick The Donkey (The Italian Christmas Donkey) by Lou Monte...deep sigh

6. Have a Funky Funky Christmas by The New Kids on the Block
...some times putting out an album for the sake of making a buck really isn't the right answer

5. Dogs Barking Jingle Bells.....I ask you simply, why?

4. Please Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas by John Denver...no joke, this is REAL????

3. 12 Days of Toto Christmas in Africa....I can't even explain this one properly, so just check it out on uTube...but brace yourself!

2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer by Patsy & Elmo...hideous song, but yet, just TRY and find a child that doesn't know the words to it! OY!

1. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey
...this song, for me, is the ticking-time-bomb of Christmas! I'm fine each year until THAT dreaded day when I hit a radio station that actually plays this thing....and the bloody song is then stuck in my head until New Year's!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Hill of Great Speculation

I've mentioned several times that I pass Dealey Plaza and the Grassy Knoll twice a day on my regular commute to and from work. So I guess it will come as a shock to no one that it's one of the more interesting places that I find my mind focusing on each day.

I know that for many people, this location only serves as one of the most horrific moments in our country's history, and I respect that thought. The first time I visited it, it quite honestly gave me chills. I stood there in the spot where that pivotal moment in our history occurred and the World honestly went silent for me. My Lord, what Jackie must have felt in that moment? The gut wrenching chaos that followed is surreal to imagine when you're standing there in this place that seems as large as a football field in the videos we all watched at school. The reality is though that Dealey Plaza is a very small, one block radias that butts up against downtown Dallas and the West End on one side and a major freeway on the other. It's a very claustrophobic, beautifully landscaped space in which the entire World suddenly changed course over 40 years ago.

It's here in that tiny space of downtown Dallas that I enjoy some of my most favorite people watching on a daily basis. Even in the still early moments of most weekday mornings, as the city is just barely starting to come to life, there are already visitors covering the grounds of Dealey Plaza. You'll see them, mostly in small groups, moving from location to location; trying to get just the right view.

On the North side of the Plaza, where the Grassy Knolls lays, you'll find them feet away from the bronze land marker, gazing up at the rust colored building on the Northeast corner. Collectively they sort out the pieces of information that they have gathered over the years and develop their own conclusions.

Each afternoon I chuckle as I see this one gentleman out there with his television around which, a small crowd is always gathered. A video of the assassination plays on a loop on the television. What does he tell him, I wonder? The crowd is always very respectfully engaged as he points to the screen, then to the rust colored building, and continues his story as his arms remain in constant motion the entire time.

Once in a while you'll see a single person, typically sitting across the street from the Grassy Knoll, just gazing at it. I never see a single person sitting on the hill itself; they always seem to sit across the street, as if out of respect for the hill and what it stands for. For these single people, this visit appears as more of a spiritual journey than an opportunity for speculation, as it is for the smaller groups that move from point to point throughout the Plaza.

There are two things I've noticed about Dealey Plaza over the years. First, you never see people displaying outward hostility there. Even if, within the varied clumps of spectators with their differing opinions, they debate and discuss in a very calm fashion. The second is that I have never found one drop of graffiti or trash on the grounds. And no, I never see any cleaning crews. One of the most trafficked spots for visitors in Dallas, Texas and nothing ever seems out of place. Why is this? Why are people able to discuss such a volitial topic with calm respectfulness and keep such a highly visited place in such pristine condition?

Considering our daily lives, drives and political views spawn moments of hostility and the inability to see another's point of view, I wonder what it is about this place that provides such magical guidance. Noticing all the trash along freeways and streets that community groups and inmates are often relegated to picking up, why is it that this place remains in a constant state of beauty?

I'd like to think that Dealey Plaza, this place of such a horrific moment in time, embodies the dreams and hopes of one man and an entire generation. For in this place, everyone is equal, all thoughts and opinions are welcomed and considered, and everyone respects and does their part to maintain the beauty that is around all of us. I'd like to believe that in this place, a man didn't just die, but rather, still lives on to guide us all.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Mommy, Party of One Now Being Served

And so it was that I found myself the only human occupying my house for a 24-hour period this weekend. Now I want to make a distinction here that I was the only human in the house, for saying that I was "alone" would really be a huge misnomer; I was, in fact, all but alone.

As is normal around my house my cat made several guest appearances throughout the weekend. I've noticed that in recent years she's not as under my feet as she used to be; her sitings have become more casual in nature. I typically now notice her as the statuesque figure sitting on the bed or in a chair in whatever room I'm in that occasionally meows at me for support with my task at hand, or just to remind me that she's still there and is now ready to accept whatever affection I have at the moment to bestow upon her.

I also had the constant shadows of my boys to keep me company. As I fluttered around the house accomplishing various tasks, there they were, the ever vigil fawn and black Pugs, at my feet. We moved together as a unit from room to room throughout the day and finally found ourselves, quite literally, in a dog pile on my bed around 10 o'clock last night as we hunkered down to watch a movie and fall asleep.

The constant companionship of my quadrupedal friends provided me with a nature feeling of the house feeling full still, even though the constant harmony of televisions and children playing were no where to be found. They also served as the best alarm system known to man! Even a rogue twig falling on the roof prompted their ears to perk up and listen for additional signs that there might be a potential intruder around. I'm not sure what they'd do exactly if an intruder ever did show. My fear is that they would most likely see them as an opportunity to play, rather potential danger, and wound bound torwads them with the enthusiam and constant snorting sounds that only Pugs can provide. But hey, at least I'd know someone was there.

My three little counterparts also gave me an excuse to say "I was talking to the animals" when I found myself, at several points throughout the weekend, talking to no one in particular. I guess that's another reason why I say I wasn't "alone"; it's in these weekends that I am reminded that I am a real person and not just "mommy", "wife", "daughter". I have a habit of talking to her, this often lost person, during these weekends; something I really should do more frequently (and no not a in Cybil kind of way).

See, these weekends, or the brief moments in time when I am lucky enough to find myself in the quiet solitude of my house or car, give me something that most people can't even find in a therapist's office. These weekends give me an opportunity to clear out the tasks on my ever growing To Do List as well as clear out the cobwebs in my head.

I'm sure to a lot of people if they had a weekend all to themselves, the first item on their agenda would not be to clean the house from top to bottom or to attack their closet, but for me, they were two of the items that took center stage on my weeekend agenda. For me, clearing out my closet was about much more than getting things organized; it was a symbol that the weight I've lost, both physically and mentally, was a success and that I have no intention of going back. Cleaning and organizing other areas of the house were a way for me to show that I am in control once again.

Now please don't take this the wrong way because I treasure my family most of all; but if there is one thing I have learned over the past couple of years, it's that I have to keep my own personal "house" in order, otherwise there won't be anything of me left to give the people I value most in my life. More than getting my soul and mind back in order, these moments in time also give me a sense of normalcy. For most people the idea of walking a flight of stairs or cleaning isn't that big of a deal, but for me and my medical condition, those regular daily activities can be an exhaustive mountain to climb. These weekends are true achievements for me and allow me to feel "normal" again, serving as proof to myself that I am much stronger than I some times give myself credit.

Even if it's 30 minutes in the morning or the time you spend by yourself in your car going to and from work, I think everyone should take the time to reconnect and clear out your mind. Talk to yourself, go ahead....it's kind of fun, and I guarantee you, you'll be one of the best listeners you'll ever find! Instead of focusing on how tired you are at the end of the day, congratulate yourself on all that you were able to accomplish that day I mean, let's be honest here, balancing life, family and work is not an easy task at all, but it's worth reflecting on in order to appreciate the spectacular opportunities and gifts that those challenge give to all of us.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It's December 2nd and yes, Virginia, there really is snow outside in Dallas, Texas!!!!! I heard the projections last night as I was falling asleep, but being as a) I live in Dallas and b) it's only the beginning of December, you'll pardon me if I didn't give much credit to what the meteorologists were warning.

I had no idea when I woke-up this morning what wonders awaited me outside. I let the dogs out when I got up, just as I normally do. I prodded the older girls out of bed at 6:15, dressed the baby around 6:45 and packed my lunch and standard six cups of coffee in my thermos shortly after, just as always.

With all the girls loaded in the car I hit the garage door button...and what to my wondrous eyes did appear but a beautiful barrage of snowy goodness! The screams of glee from the car were almost deafening as the weather phenomenon registered with the two almost eight year-olds in the backseat. “Snow!!! Oh my gosh, look, it’s snow!!!!” came the screams.

Something so simple can cause such joy in children and fear in adults. For kids it’s a representation of pure merriment and carefree entertainment; however, for many parents I fear it’s seen as impending doom of the commute yet to come. Not for me though, no sir! Under the guise of assessing the situation, I promptly stepped out onto the driveway, peered up at the beautiful morning sky and smiled a greeting to my old friend. I even faked a need to get gas before dropping them off justs so I could stand out in the snow and enjoy the feeling of the flakes as they fell upon me.

No matter how many times I see it or how many times I’ve had to scrape it off my car, snow still holds that same child-like wonderment to me. The beautiful melodic sound it makes as it falls gently from the sky; the amazing power it has to change the entire landscape overnight; the hours of endless entertainment it offers alone or with your children building snowmen, throwing snowballs and sledding.

I had to catch myself several times on the drive in. I would notice that instead of watching the SUV in front of me, I was monitoring the way the snowflakes looked as they hit my windshield. Each flake splat made a unique pattern. Thank goodness the brake lights snapped me out of my mesmerized trance!

Maybe it’s the idea that with snow a new season is officially announced and that new season offers change and a new adventure, or perhaps it’s just an excuse to act like a carefree child again, if for just a moment.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Triscadecaphobia? I'm Afraid Not!

Greetings and salutations a grand "Happy Friday the 13th" to one and all!

I realize that for many folks today is a day of potential gloom, doom and otherwise bad things. However, for me, today is a great day as, well first of all, it's Friday and secondly and more importantly, it's one of the few times a year I get to dazzle folks with my use of the word "triscadecaphobia" (a.k.a. fear of the number 13) My favorite teacher of all time, Ms. Sterret Ann Frank, taught me this word some 22 years ago after discovering that my favorite number is, in fact, the number 13. Ever since then, whenever a Friday the 13th rolls around, I smile and think very fondly of her.

Ms. Frank passed away a few years back from Alzheimer's. She was an amazing, vivacious, tenacious and brilliant woman who became a true role model for me. So, in honor of Ms. Frank, today we shall all pause and enjoy thirteen facts about my beloved number 13...both the good and the bad:

1. On Friday, October 13, 1307 the Pope of the church in Rome in Conjunction with the King of France, carried out a secret death warrant Against "the Knights Templar".

2. Christians consider Friday as the day on which Christ was crucified by the Romans.

3. In Ancient Rome, the citizens dedicated the 6th day of the week to their beautiful Goddess Venus. Eventually this day evolved into Friday, and was considered to be the luckiest day of the week.

4. According to Norse lore, Loki was the 13th god in the Norse pantheon. More specifically, Loki was believed to have engineered the murder of Baldr, and was the 13th guest to arrive at the funeral. This is perhaps related to the superstition that if thirteen people gather, one of them will die in the following year.

5. The number 17 is apparently Italy's unlucky number, because in Roman digits 17 is written XVII, that could be rearranged to "VIXI," which in Latin means literally "I have lived" but can be a euphemism for "I am dead." Okay, so this isn't the number 13, but I just wanted to prove that not everyone hates the number....so fear other numbers. HA!

6. It is the smallest integer with eight letters in its spelled out name in English.

7. In Hinduism, on thirteenth day of death a feast is organized. It is believed to be organized for the peace of the departed soul.

8. In Judaism, 13 signifies the age at which a boy matures and becomes a Bar Mitzvah.

9. Triskaidekaphobia, as a word, was coined in 1911.

10. Friday the 13th has been considered an unlucky day since the 1800s. Geez, you'd think we'd get over it by now though, eh?

11. Alex Rodriguez (began wearing it upon joining the New York Yankees), Dan Marino and Wilt Chamberlain all wore the number 13.

12. Colgate University also considers 13 to be a lucky number. They were founded in 1819 by 13 men with 13 dollars, 13 prayers, and 13 articles. In fact, the campus address is 13 Oak Drive in Hamilton, NY and the all men a'cappella group is called "the Colgate 13."

13. I was 13 years old when I skipped school the one and only time in my life. According to legend though, my Mother knew I wasn't there in under 13 minutes after the first period bell rang. Drat!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Life's Lessons

If there is one thing I've learned as a parent it is that I grow as a person right along with my kids. For me, this week has been a true testament to that theory of thought.

The week started out great! All kids were dressed and ready for school Monday morning in record time! Now knowing how OCD I am, you might think every day runs this smoothly, but alas, we don't typically hit our collective Girl Power groove until about Wednesday most weeks; so to have us all in synch and moving along like a well oiled machine on a Monday morning was a treat indeed!

However, my excelling Monday dreams were dashed around 12:20 p.m. when my cell phone suddenly began vibrating and the name of one of my daughter's school appeared in the caller id. "Uh oh!" was my first thought! The very calm school nurse on the other end of the phone explained that my daughter had taken a hard fall on the playground while running and jump roping. Most children would dare only attempt ONE of those tasks, but not my over-achieving, take no prisoners child....no sir!

I quickly got someone to cover my 1:00 p.m. meeting, loaded all my stuff in the car and drove as quickly as possible, within the posted speed limits of course, to her school. Upon arrival I gazed upon the most pitiful of sites for a mother...a little one, who clearly had just composed herself a few moments earlier, sitting in the nurse's office bandaged up with an ice pack on her eye.

After gathering up my child and all her belongings, I took her home and got her all situated on the couch for an afternoon of recovery. Movies....check! New ice pack....check! Tylenol....check! She snuggled up to me and began the recovery process while I finished my workday from the house. By 6:00 p.m. that evening she was right as rain and was proudly sporting a lovely purple and blue eye.

The next afternoon when she got home, she asked to go outside and play with her friends. "Sure baby," was my reply. I began reminding her of the boundaries of playing outside....you all know the drill I'm sure...."stay between our house and the black car", "don't go in the street", etc. My daughter, very politely, cut me off by placing her hand on my arm and said, "Mom, I know it's hard to let me grow-up, but you're going to have to try some time."

Sigh, and there it was! THE moment I had been dreading and hoping wouldn't arrive until my child was at least 30 years old. Mom? Not Mommy? Wasn't this the same child I had just nursed back to health 24-hours earlier? Wow, apparently she's not a baby any more.

Two days prior to this moment, she announced to me that she had discovered "the truth" about Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy. As I sat there pondering the moment, I began to acknowledge all those little hints that I had been denying up to this point: picking out her own outfits (which now resemble outfits I've seen on Disney and not a Gymbore catalog), fixing her own hair, refusing to hug me in public, etc.

I guess you could say this was a trail blazing week of new adventures and experiences for both of us then. She took another tumble along the path of growing up and learned a valuable lesson about concrete, and I took another step towards letting go a little bit more in order to allow her to live and grow via her own path.

Just as learning not to run and jump rope is often a lesson one can only learn through personal experience, as is the lesson of embracing the gradual process of accepting that my little girl is growing up.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Fall-ish In Dallas

Yep, it's that time of year again....it's Fall in Dallas; my favorite time of the year! Fall in Texas is a different thing than Fall up in the Northern states. No here, the leaves don't change into vibrate reds and oranges before they get gently swept away by the incoming crisp Arctic blows. Here the leaves hang on until about mid-November and then give up and over the course of about, oh I don't know, a weekend, die and spiral to the ground in an uninspiring mess.

Nope, you can't use the leaves as a gauge here because Nature works a little differently in Texas. Around here, we don't really have what most would call "the true four seasons". Always needing to be bigger, we don't settle for just four seasons; instead we have six "temperature and activity ranges". I guess if you had to compare it to places that have "the true four seasons", it'd go something like this:

Spring - A four week period when it's about 80 degrees and it's truly beautiful and enjoyable to be outside; flowers are in bloom and the air is amazing! Women get pedicures, men begin preparing their grills and children begin clamoring for the pools to open.

Post-Spring - A four week, Texas only season, observed when the rest of the country is still enjoying moderate temperatures and we begin crawling into the 90s and sneezing all over the place because everything is truly in bloom now. The pools are now open and conversations are beginning to compare droughts of years past as residents brace for the upcoming months.

Summer - The sixteen week period in which the damn mosquitoes are frigging everywhere and the air is sick with the smell of Deep Woods Off! It's so hot that all most women can muster is a ponytail and flip-flops for "dressing up". Children only hit the pools during the early morning and late evening hours because, well, the water is virtually boiling...but hey, for some reason it's a great excuse for men to BBQ! And I mean why not...you're already hot, why not hang out around a grill loaded with a multitude of marinated meat?!?! It is during this period that thermometers in these parts will max out some where around 104 and most Native Texans will begin harking for the return of Winter in order to catch a break from the oppressive heat and drought.

Post-Summer - The eight week period directly behind the never-ending drought previously referred to as "Summer" in Texas. This is the period in time when our temperatures fluctuate between 98 and 75 on any given day and every cricket within 1,000 miles will magically migrate into our great state and begin camping out on the sidewalks, streets and entryways of our buildings and homes. Everything that died, or went into Summer-hibernation, during the previous sixteen weeks due to drought will suddenly wake back up because it will start raining as if ordered by Noah himself. We will all once again begin sneezing all over the place as if it were Spring due to the sudden re-blooming of everything and the flip-flopping temperatures. In case this still doesn't sound familiar to any of you, this section of time is sometimes better known by it's more formal and beloved name of "The Beginning of Football Season"!

Fall - The two week period when it is once again amazing to be outside and we are finally safe from any potential pollen, ragweed or other hay-fever inducing particles. Women will ditch the pony-tail look and will once again begin to curl and straighten their hair as there is no longer a fear of instantly frizzing when stepping outside due to the heat and humidity. During this time men will begin preparing for hibernation during what is commonly called "post-football season" or "football draft season".

Winter - Ahhhh Winter...yes here this is known as the 18 week period when everything will once again die, including the mosquitoes and bloody crickets, and we will break out our heavy coats and sweaters (because to us 40 degrees might as well be the actual temperature for freezing water). Children will begin praying for "ice days" and school closings. It is during this time of year that you will most often hear Native Texans spouting the question of "Geez, how many more weeks until Summer is back?"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Texas Our Texas

So, as my thought process often begins, I was riding along in the car this morning and something came on the radio that got me thinking. Well first of all, let me explain that by “riding along” I really mean sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic in the rain because no one in Dallas can drive when it rains (this is not an opinion but rather a scientifically proven fact).

Anyway, so Three Dog Night came on and as always, being that they are officially on my list of top ten favorites of all time, I sang along with them. "Oh I've never been to heaven; but I've been to Oklahoma. Well they tell me I was born there; but I really don't remember....."

This song has always held a special place in my heart, aside from the aforementioned comment. You see, I WAS in fact born in the state previously referred to as Oklahoma. (Point of clarification on this one though - I was born on an Army Base, so I officially was born on Federal land, NOT the state known to many as Oklahoma.) And as the song goes, thankfully I really don't remember being born there (this is probably why my Mother used to sing this one to me when I was but a wee child).

That's the line that got me thinking this morning. You see, most people would be down right proud, if they even cared at all, to be born in Oklahoma. For example, the majority of my husband's family, well almost ALL of them, are Okies. And if I must admit it, it is a beautiful state, but come on; we all know that “Oklahoma is O.K.”….why be just “O.K” when you can be Texas? (Follow-up point - see, when you're born on Federal land, you get to "choose" your home state....plus, when your family is from Texas and you're a direct descendant of Sam Houston, it's kind of an unwritten rule that you too then, are a Texan. Again, this is another scientific fact, as is the rain to Dallas driving ability ratio.)

So while musing over this point this morning it dawned on me; I've never lived any where else that was anything like Texas. In no other state have I ever run across the same statewide, ingrained pride as you will find in this state. Now hear me out on this one…sure, most states have "a state song", but hell, in Texas we not only have A state song, we have an entire damn song book! Go ahead, take a few minutes and start listing them out in your brain.....see, I'm right.

Most states have one official state license plate. Well not us....we have multiple ones to choose from. I'm not just talking about the special plates, like SPCA or university alumni plates; I mean plates just paying homage to our state. I was able to find six plates alone on my drive in. SIX!

Sure, most states have state pride, but how many other states can you personally toss out a one-line motto or charge for? Walk into any bar, school or train station in Texas and yell "Remember the Alamo" and see what kind of response you get. And if you think we keep this kind of pride contained just within our boarders, trying walking in some place in another state and sing out "The stars at night are big and bright...." Twenty bucks says that someone, other than you, will respond with "clap, clap, clap, clap....deep in the heart, of Texas!"

And why wouldn't we be overly proud? I mean, after all, we are the only state in the Union that is allowed to fly our flag at the same level as the United States of America's flag. Heck, even our state tourism board claims that we are "a whole other country"! Take that California!

Here is how bad I personally wanted to secure my roots firmly in the soil that is my home state. On Mother's Day, 1997, while living in New Jersey (I know, right?), I had the state of Texas tattooed on my body. Truth! Later that year, when I moved back home, I honestly stopped and got out of my car and quite literally, kissed the ground as I crossed over the boarder back into Texas. I was home! Don't get me wrong, I loved living in other places, but as they say, "there's just no place like home."

Look, everyone knows that "everything is bigger in Texas." Sure, we might not officially be the largest in population or land mass, but I'll be damned if we aren't the biggest in state pride! Yeeeeeeehaw! (Feel free to wave your proverbial cowboy hat and stomp that boot here...well, after you dismount from your horse and secure your cattle first, of course.)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Monday, Monday

So as I sit here poised to write something witty and entertaining today I realize....I’ve got a big bag of nothing to offer today. What? Gasp! No really, it's true...nada! Could it be that I've encountered that dreaded Yeti known to many as writer's block or could there be something more devious at foot? Personally I feel it's the latter as anyone who knows me knows that I am rarely one who finds themselves ever at a loss for words.

Yes, I actually think what we're now experiencing together, as you read along, is the concept affectionately known as “Monday”. That's right kids, "Monday, Monday", as it's known to the Mama's and the Papa's; "Manic Monday" as it's known to the Bangles; and "A case of the Mondays" as it's referred to in one of my all time favorite cult films Office Space.

I should have known when I woke-up this morning that today would be the proverbial Monday experience; however, I went ahead and got out of bed and trudged ahead thinking that I could conquer anything....even a Monday!

Luckily I’m an evening shower person (I know, TMI), so that saved me time as I laid in bed for an extra hour today; however that didn’t save my hair. Yepper, I have to admit even I was a bit startled when I stumbled into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of the curly inferno on top of my head this morning. “Nope, no time to straighten that out,” I thought to myself. So I dropped in a couple of combs to my hair, lied to myself and called it a hair-style, and proceeded to get dressed and wrangle the kids to head out the door.

By the time I actually attempted to leave the house, I found that not only was I 30 minutes behind schedule, but I now had a child sans a shoe and had forgotten to pack the diaper the night before. As I returned to the house to search out the elusive right baby-shoe and to pack the diaper bag, I started the Monday grumbling process of, "this is NOT going to be the day I'm going to have" to myself. You could almost hear the Universe begin to laugh at me and my feeble attempt at free-will.

As I dashed out the door with the baby shoe and diaper bag, I heard a little voice from the backseat say, "Hey Mommy....we didn't fill out my form for the book fair today." Dratts! "Nope, you can conquer this one," I heard my inner voice cheering on. I quickly regrouped and while backing out of my driveway and closing the garage door, I simultaneously managed to procure $10 from my wallet and toss it into the backseat with a "see what you can do with this, baby." (Note: Rearview mirrors were used by the driver and all children were strapped in at all times during the events explained in this paragraph.)

Having managed to successfully deposit two small people at school, I headed off on my drive to the office. Seeing as it is Monday and all, I decided to stop for a spot of coffee (okay, truth...it has nothing to do with it being a Monday, but rather an endless addiction to caffeine and me lacking the energy to actually put a scope of coffee and a bit of water in my coffee pot this morning). As I pulled into the drive of "the Beckon of Hope", known to many as Starbucks, I was confronted with Monday once again. "Four, five, six, seven," my brain continued to tally as I looked at the cars ahead of me. Quickly looking at the clock I made the executive decision that the office would much rather me be 10 minutes late and caffeinated than have me roll in sans the liquid support my brain so desperately craved.

Finally, coffee in hand, and iPod cranking and I was off! Nothing can stop me now! "Aaaahhhh chooooo!" "Oh seriously?!?!?!" I yell to no one in particular as my body jerked from the sneeze and the beautiful substance of my soy mocha coffee went shooting across the dash of my car (as you can tell, I'm really a committed sneezer). But wait....what's that I see....a silver lining???? Not one drop off coffee hit my white tee-shirt. Great Juan Valdez...the gods have spared my otherwise already sloppily thrown together attire by diverting all of the flying coffee goodness onto the dash and floorboard only and not my clothes!

As I regrouped, grabbing a wet wipe out of my middle console and began wiping down the dash while sitting at the stop light, I smugly smirked to myself, puffed out my chest in victory and thought, "Monday my ass, Universe......Monday my ass!"

Thursday, October 15, 2009

25 Random Thoughts from Beckyland

Well a bright and shiny good morrow to you all and welcome to Thursday!

Today I thought we'd mix it up a bit and try out a different format...25 random thoughts that just pop into my head. This is something I do every so often as a bit of a brain dump, but I find that it also tends to relieve stress and make me giggle (not to mention that it tends to spawn topics for other blog posts).

Enjoy the random thoughts and your Thursday!

1. I don't understand the concept of pimento loaf.

2. I am a news junkie, so I think I work at the best place ever (insert random plug for BELO and the Dallas Morning News here)! I love seeing the news trucks for WFAA firing up each morning, heading out to see what's going down in our city.

3. I am the person who draws the smiley face on the foggy window on the front door of our office building each day. Look, it's really early when I get here so I'm a bit punchy. Besides, I can't resist the temptation. :)

4. I don't understand the fascination with Twitter. No offense, but I don't have a desire to keep up with my own every move, much less someone else's. So feel free to make yourself a turkey sandwich and NOT to Twitter me about the experience.

5. I was born left-handed, but some teacher in Kindergarten decided that I needed to change that. Dude, that could have totally scarred me for life!

6. I just heard a "smooth jazz" version of Will Smith's "Summer Madness" on my XM radio. Let me just say that it totally just threw me off....that just wasn't right, not at all man, not at all.

7. Speaking of music, I don’t' really like attending music concerts. I'm not talking about orchestra or operas here, I like those; I mean rock concerts. I find it hard to feel comfortable listening and not dancing and acting ultra goofy during them.

8. I actually like the new Miley Cyrus single. True story!

9. I don't understand adult cheerleaders at sporting events. Okay sure, I get what their purpose is; however they aren't "leading cheers", so can't we just call them glorified strippers and be done with it?

10. If Hogwarts were a real school, I'd send my children there and live for Parents Weekend when I'd be able to visit!

11. Why do guys feel it's okay to cut their nails at their desks? Really? Do me a favor and save that little experience for your wife and do it at home....in your own bathroom!

12. Speaking of guys at work, am I the only one that finds it ultra-icky that they take the newspaper into the bathroom and then return it to the public stack so that another guy can take the paper on the same journey? There is NOT enough hand sanitizer out there to make this one okay with me!

13. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! (Sorry, told you these were random thoughts.)

14. I actually had a blast car-dancing this morning to Barry Manilow’s "Miracle" on my drive into work. Anyone wanna carpool with me tomorrow? I'm feeling disco coming on!

15. I haven't seen the natural color of my hair since 6th grade thanks to Sun-in and many, many hours spent at the beach. (Of course now it's all about the varying colors of brown and red shades brought to by Nice N Easy.)

16. I have 10 action figures and bobble heads on my desk along with three Buddha statues, of varying sizes, and a Magic Eight Ball.

17. I drink about six cups of coffee a day (according to my coffee pot).

18. I voted for Kinky Friedman last time he ran....and guess what, I plan on doing it again!

19. I am a direct descendant of Sam Houston, the one and only President of the great state of Texas! (Of course then, it was a republic, but now we're just splitting hairs, aren't we?)

20. My partner just got to her desk. She's a scream, but you should know, she's not a morning person. It's taken me a year to learn not to annoy her instantly when she walks in. God love her for putting up with me! :)

21. I'm a cat person. There, I've said it!

22. I won't be watching THE football game this weekend (THE University of Texas vs. those dorks from Oklahoma). Gasp! I know, they could take away my Longhorn status for that....but really, I do this for the greater good. I have WAY too much of my Grandfather in me and watching the game will, for sure, send me into an instant hostile state of yelling and temper tantrums (and often times I even yell at the cheerleaders when they show them)....so I learned years ago not to do watch it.

23. I can't spell to save my life. Viva la Spell Checker! I was honestly the first kid out in the one and only spelling bee I was ever in. I spelled "waitress" wrong. Sigh.....

24. I love birthdays! In fact, mine is a recognized week long event known as "Becky-palooza" to my family.

25. This post took me seven minutes to write and I found six spelling errors in it when I spell checked it. See, told you I couldn't live without the beauty that is Spell Checker.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Love is All You Need

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love."
--Sophocles

It's on days like today that I find myself waxing a bit more on the relationships in my life; because on days like today, my commute to work becomes more focused and my surroundings more visible. See today, the Dallas Metroplex is blanketed in heavy fog; yet on a day like today, I become much more aware of the visual reminders of love that I travel by each day on my way to and from work.

Each weekday my commute takes me by the DFW Airport and the UTSW Medical Center (which also, for you trivia lovers out there, happens to house the hospital in which President John F. Kennedy died almost 46 years ago). "Hey, that's a bit of a sad point considering your headline today", I can hear you saying. True, but it goes along with my thoughts today....stay with me here.

You see, the hospital and airport, for me, are two of the most magical places within a city. For, in those walls there is the truest gamete of emotions on a constant basis. Turn one way and you'll see families embracing loved ones as they get off the plane or a new father starring down in awe at the new child the nurse has laid in his arms. Turn another direction and you might see a mother, sitting vigil over the bed of her dying child or a young couple saying a tearful good-bye as one of them is boarding a plane and heading off for military deployment.

I find it magical to watch these natural emotions pour out of people. I say natural because no one has to teach an infant sorrow, love or happiness; they are innate emotions that belong to all humans. Sure, a crying baby might not fully understand why she is crying, but thanks to the connection made possible by unconditional love, a mother knows why and will always do her best to stop the crying and make everything better.

These relationships aren't just between family members or lovers, but also between friends. Close friends will travel an emotional highway together throughout their lifetimes, and true friends will never question or judge the honesty of those emotions, they will simply embrace them.

It is on these foggy, hard to see days that I think about these places and the most natural moments of life they house. As I drive past the airport I find myself thinking, "Did I hug my children before I dropped them off" or "have I called my sister lately to tell her how much she means to me?" On these days, the lack of action and follow-through from my heart to my daily life comes into full focus and leaves me to questions, "have I done enough?"

What if something was to happen to me on my drive in today; would the ones I love know how much they mean to me? What if suddenly I was in that hospital...have I provided my family with enough memories and love and carry them through a lifetime?

It's days like today that remind me that even the painful moments in life provide us with great joy later. When someone passes on or a relationship ends and that person is no longer physically part of your life, their memories remain. The moments you spent together had aspects of happiness, sadness, struggle and teaching. For in those moments you learned, not only to love and deal with the occasional challenges that life brings, but you learned about yourself. "There is no remedy for love but to love more." --Henry David Thoreau

So when you wake-up and the morning news warns of hazardous driving conditions on your way into work, don't grumble about how now you'll be late or complain about what an inconvenience the weather has provided you; instead, let it serve as a reminder to you that you are loved and you have people you love in your life. Let days like this remind you to always tell people how you feel about them and to never miss a moment to play with your kids, have lunch with a girlfriend or to enjoy the every day moments that life has to offer. Let days like today remind you of all the opportunities you have in life to live and love.

If you feel alone or without the energy for the day, go hug your child or call a friend for lunch and refill your soul, for as Elizabeth Browning said, "Love doesn't make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

Monday, October 12, 2009

Say What?

I'm guessing by now that it's not a big secret that I love words. I love everything about words. I love how they sound; I love that you can change a meaning just by placing it next to a different group of words; I love that you can say one thing, but mean something totally different just by how you change the sound of your voice when saying a phrase. This is probably why I adore Shakespeare and Thoreau so dearly. For me, they were truly the masters of wordsmith and are the Headmasters of my Circle of Muses (which for the record, also includes Poe, Einstein and DaVinci - I commonly refer to them as "My Boys" and have action figures of each of them on desk at work...true story)....but then of course, I also have a Yoda bobble head on my desk as well.

Anyway it's my love of words that has me going today kids! For those of you who know me, it's not a huge secret that I am a card carrying dyslexic; for that matter, I come from a long line of them. Heck, even one of My Boys was one too! So, as a member of the backwards and jumbled club, I often have to be very careful when reading something for if I just glance, there is a massive chance I'll read something very different than what is actually on the paper.

I tend to have to concentrate when reading. I learned early on to have something low, like music, playing the background at home so I can literally "tune out" the world and focus on what I'm reading. Now, if I really have to concentrate that hard on something, I started wondering about what it must be like for non-native English speakers. Here they are, focusing on the words themselves and we go off and change spelling rules in one place and entire meanings of words in another.

But what about phrases? I wonder what they must think when they are hear us say something like "A bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush?" I get this phrase, but ya know, some of them are so out there, that when you're a literal speaker/reader like me, and as I'm assuming many non-native speakers are as well, some of these phrases just leave me scratching my head wondering "what the hell does that mean?"

So for your Monday morning entertainment, I give you a few phrases that have made me giggle, made me wonder and often times, forced me to look them up because I had no bloody idea what they meant (and my Mother always made me look things up...guess that habit stuck with me). Enjoy!:

* "Shake a stick at it" - Okay, really? What good would shaking a stick at anything do anyway? So why would it matter if you did, in fact, have more of something than you could physically shake a stick at?

* "Throw the baby out with the bath water" - Uhmmmmm, see, this has CPS written all over it for me.

* "A good man is hard to find" - Now this one isn't funny to me, it's just kind of sad. Although the story "A Good Man is Hard to Find", is one that leaves you perplexed in thought, I don't think this phrase should. Is it really that hard to find one? And if it is, what does that say about our society? Eeek!

* "A pig in a poke" - Okay, this just makes me giggle! If you just read the words there and you take it literally, it's kind of funny.

* "A stitch in time saves nine" - Nine what????? I've never understood this one. First of all, for me at least, time is an intangible concept that was created by man, so how could stitching something that doesn't exist save nine of anything?

* "Dollars to donuts" - Again, I know what this one means, but my question remains.....why does this combination of words some how mean "certainty"?

*"Drink like a fish" - Sure, fish are in water, but do they really drink? Go ahead, look that fact up....you'll be surprised!

*"The proof is in the pudding" - When I think of this one, I can visualize someone actually digging into the pudding and searching for the proof.

*"Shake a leg" - So I ask you, how could one possibly hurry up if they are busy shaking their legs? This one always caused me to raise an eyebrow as a kid.

*"Sleep like a top" - Aren't tops in constant motion? (for the record, I did actually look this one up and I get it's origin....it still just sounded odd to me the first time I heard it)

"As happy as a clam" - So uhm, how would you know if a clam is happy?

So as you begin your work week, remember to watch your p's and q's as you mingle with others until your heart's content.....for as you lay it on with a trowel, your point might just get lost in translation.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Coloring Inside the Lines

So it is the actions of my sister that have me thinking today. Now, you've got to know my sister to understand why I find this so funny and why it's got me thinking. She is a very free spirit and is very comfortable telling you exactly what she is thinking at any given moment. She doesn't dig process for process sake and she despises labeling. She recently was asked to fill out a form for a background check (don't worry, she's a teacher, it wasn't for anything super top-secret or James Bond-like). One of the questions on the form was "Ethnicity".

She skimmed through the choices, "White, Black, Hispanic, Native-American, Other" before making her selection. She, of course, selected "Other" and then wrote "ochre peach" in the line to the side.

Her answer, aside from cracking me up, got me thinking. Why is it that we have bucks on forms that still silo us and why, in the name of Binney and Smith*, do we actually call groups white and black. Have you ever really seen a "white" person? Honestly, look at white crayon....go ahead and grab one, I'll wait......and then hold it up next to a "white person". Do you see a match? For the sake of my argument, go ahead and try the same exercise with a black crayon and a "black person". Doesn't match, does it? Yeah, didn’t think it would.

See, this bugs me on several levels. First, if we're trying to teach kids colors, then let's not muddy the waters with white and black when it comes to people because clearly, people are neither white nor black. Crayola has finally figured that out and now has a line of flesh colored crayons for children's coloring pleasure. True story!

Secondly, why is it that we often see “white and black” as choices next to “Native-American and Hispanic”? If we’re all so hot and bothered about calling people by colors then shouldn’t it say “white, black, beige, somewhat beige and tan?” I mean, come on, if we’re going to do it, then let’s be consistent, shall we?

Third, so many have worked tirelessly to change the mindset that we are not separate races; we are all one human race, so why all the hubbub about what color bucket we can each drop ourselves into? And just because they call it "ethnicity" on forms now doesn't mask it for me because honestly, it is still the same "which bucket do you belong in" question. Why does it matter? Why does it matter what color my skin is or what my gender happens to be? And if we're being honest, my background is so mixed I, like many people I'm guessing, could honestly check almost every one of there little buckets.

Look, if I am filling out an application for a job or a back-ground check, why not just base it on something silly like my credentials or my back-ground? I know, silly me (hang on while I crawl back into my box that I cannot help but to continually attempt to think outside of).

I get that we want equality, but if we're going to continue to ask for and track based upon our differences, how is the mindset every going to change? And riddle me this Census Bureau, how does my sister's ethnicity help her background check and clearance for teaching? Wouldn't it be more important to verify that she, oh I don't know, has an actual teaching degree and hasn't run any children over lately? See to me, those would be more prudent points upon which to verify and track.

The same question was asked of me when I submitted my annual PTA application this week. Apparently the Texas PTA isn't as evolved as the Government (insert giggle here) as they still posed the question as "Race". In honor of my big sister, you'll be happy to know that I responded to their question with "Other - Human Race."

....I believe my application is still pending approval.



* Note: Binney and Smith were the creators of Crayola Crayons back in 1903. See, you even learned something in today's session. Well done all!