Monday, October 19, 2009

Monday, Monday

So as I sit here poised to write something witty and entertaining today I realize....I’ve got a big bag of nothing to offer today. What? Gasp! No really, it's true...nada! Could it be that I've encountered that dreaded Yeti known to many as writer's block or could there be something more devious at foot? Personally I feel it's the latter as anyone who knows me knows that I am rarely one who finds themselves ever at a loss for words.

Yes, I actually think what we're now experiencing together, as you read along, is the concept affectionately known as “Monday”. That's right kids, "Monday, Monday", as it's known to the Mama's and the Papa's; "Manic Monday" as it's known to the Bangles; and "A case of the Mondays" as it's referred to in one of my all time favorite cult films Office Space.

I should have known when I woke-up this morning that today would be the proverbial Monday experience; however, I went ahead and got out of bed and trudged ahead thinking that I could conquer anything....even a Monday!

Luckily I’m an evening shower person (I know, TMI), so that saved me time as I laid in bed for an extra hour today; however that didn’t save my hair. Yepper, I have to admit even I was a bit startled when I stumbled into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of the curly inferno on top of my head this morning. “Nope, no time to straighten that out,” I thought to myself. So I dropped in a couple of combs to my hair, lied to myself and called it a hair-style, and proceeded to get dressed and wrangle the kids to head out the door.

By the time I actually attempted to leave the house, I found that not only was I 30 minutes behind schedule, but I now had a child sans a shoe and had forgotten to pack the diaper the night before. As I returned to the house to search out the elusive right baby-shoe and to pack the diaper bag, I started the Monday grumbling process of, "this is NOT going to be the day I'm going to have" to myself. You could almost hear the Universe begin to laugh at me and my feeble attempt at free-will.

As I dashed out the door with the baby shoe and diaper bag, I heard a little voice from the backseat say, "Hey Mommy....we didn't fill out my form for the book fair today." Dratts! "Nope, you can conquer this one," I heard my inner voice cheering on. I quickly regrouped and while backing out of my driveway and closing the garage door, I simultaneously managed to procure $10 from my wallet and toss it into the backseat with a "see what you can do with this, baby." (Note: Rearview mirrors were used by the driver and all children were strapped in at all times during the events explained in this paragraph.)

Having managed to successfully deposit two small people at school, I headed off on my drive to the office. Seeing as it is Monday and all, I decided to stop for a spot of coffee (okay, has nothing to do with it being a Monday, but rather an endless addiction to caffeine and me lacking the energy to actually put a scope of coffee and a bit of water in my coffee pot this morning). As I pulled into the drive of "the Beckon of Hope", known to many as Starbucks, I was confronted with Monday once again. "Four, five, six, seven," my brain continued to tally as I looked at the cars ahead of me. Quickly looking at the clock I made the executive decision that the office would much rather me be 10 minutes late and caffeinated than have me roll in sans the liquid support my brain so desperately craved.

Finally, coffee in hand, and iPod cranking and I was off! Nothing can stop me now! "Aaaahhhh chooooo!" "Oh seriously?!?!?!" I yell to no one in particular as my body jerked from the sneeze and the beautiful substance of my soy mocha coffee went shooting across the dash of my car (as you can tell, I'm really a committed sneezer). But wait....what's that I see....a silver lining???? Not one drop off coffee hit my white tee-shirt. Great Juan Valdez...the gods have spared my otherwise already sloppily thrown together attire by diverting all of the flying coffee goodness onto the dash and floorboard only and not my clothes!

As I regrouped, grabbing a wet wipe out of my middle console and began wiping down the dash while sitting at the stop light, I smugly smirked to myself, puffed out my chest in victory and thought, "Monday my ass, Universe......Monday my ass!"

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